We have a dog.  She’s not a large dog, about 70lbs of Yellow Lab mix.  She can produce serious amounts of poop.  In fact I think she poops much more than she eats.  I’m not sure how this is possible.  I’m no scientist, but it would be great if I could convince someone that it merits a study and a government grant.  They could come and pickup all the poop they want and poke at it, cook it, examine it under a microscope and distribute it around the country to other scientists for study.  I bet you are thinking I’m going to post a picture of poop?  Nah.. lucky for you that’s one thing I forgot to take a picture of earlier and now I’m too lazy to go back outside.

Part of this poop dilemma is that it doesn’t get picked up nearly as often as necessary, due to weather, laziness, and gag reflex.  Fortunately she’s a smart dog, she doesn’t poop in the house, on the sidewalk, patio or pathways.  Unfortunately for us, we don’t have nearly enough pathways.

So I’m thinking to myself one day.  I need more paths in the yard so I don’t have to walk through the yard like I’m burglar sneaking through a museum after hours.  In my Internet wanderings I found it – the perfect path.

Perfect artifical pathway sans poop.

Here’s the poop machine and a sample of the artificial path. It’s made from recycled materials (the path), looks somewhat similar to mulch, but it’s rubber! I saw that, you rolled your eyes back didn’t you? Hey, it isn’t that I’m lazy and can’t put down a genuine mulch path… okay, maybe that’s a part of it.

Anti-poop path

I have more back issues than I care to recall – spinal stenosis, degenerative disc disease, annular tear at L3, arthritis in my upper back, and so on. It coalesces well with my general laziness. I’m not about to start trying to put in a nice natural, stone, or concrete path – waaay too much effort.

This stuff is pretty neat. I need to trim the edges, but you basically just lay it down and pin it down with metal stakes. I have several rolls of the stuff I bought from Gardener’s Supply Company. They have all kinds of stuff I would love to buy. However, being a semi-unemployed, semi-self employed person of questionable talent, I’m not exactly overflowing with any extra spending money. Right now I’m happy with my fake path material. I just need to cut the grass really low where I want to put it and lay it out all. I’m excited!