I suck at gardening.

Eye Wuv Spwing

Corwin — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 10:46:52 +0000

Pollen, radical barometric pressure changes, extreme temperature variation, sneezing, sinus drainage, bugs. Ahh bugs. I have been been attempting to work on a new deck – more like a stoop actually. The wasps seem to be setting up nest in the grill, the carpenter bees in the fence don’t seem to like the wasps and neither seem to like me. It’s been all out war out there. I’ve killed at least 20 so far with a racquetball racket and wasp spray. On the up side, wacking a carpenter bee with a racquetball racket is somewhat satisfying. I have learned that only the female carpenter bees have stingers, and are purportedly docile. My eyesight is not so keen as to spot any male dangly parts so they are all on my list if they harass me. I know – they both have environmental benefits, pollinators and all that stuff. I do however think I have a right not to be dive bombed and harassed on my own patio.

It was 87 degrees in our office yesterday. The AC was turned on. It is the beginning of April. *sigh*

Do you take polls?

Corwin — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 15:39:57 +0000

I’m testing some poll software. Hello? Is this thing on?

Questions View Results

Christmas cactus in February.

Corwin — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 15:07:20 +0000

I’ve been a gardening slacker, but this is “I suck at gardening.” I have a few more things coming up soon, but for the moment here’s a Christmas cactus cared for by my wife. Fortunately it seems immune to my presence. [click to embiggen]

Christmas cactus

Dogs are awesome.

Corwin — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 15:48:09 +0000

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary……

8:00 am – Dog food! My favourite thing!

9:30 am – A car ride! My favourite thing!

9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

12:00 pm – Lunch! My favourite thing!

1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favourite thing!

6:00 pm – Oooh, Bath. Bummer.

7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary. ..

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…………….

A pale blue dot.

Corwin — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 15:42:40 +0000

“The Pale Blue Dot” is a photograph of planet Earth taken in 1990 by Voyager 1 from a record distance, showing it against the vastness of space. Carl Sagan called the photo of Earth from Voyager ‘a pale blue dot’… “That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. … There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world.”

Why does my tent smell funny?

Corwin — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 16:01:40 +0000

Tent

I am a lazy bastard.

Corwin — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 15:59:44 +0000

Why bend over when I can buy a tool to pick up things from the floor? I bought this handy device to help prevent too much more wear and tear on my back. I need a holster for it or perhaps a back scabbard? [click to embiggen]

Pikstik and squirrel

PikStik-Pro Aluminum Reacher, 32

Grocery Gardening

Corwin — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 15:39:13 +0000

My sister sent me a copy of her new book. I plan on getting my head wrapped around it soon and will follow up with a glowing review I’m sure. The copy she sent me appears to be printed upside down but I will figure it out soon. Read more and get a copy here! For comparison purposes the book is pictured here with my local grocery gardening flyer.

Grocery Gardening

It did live once.

Corwin — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 14:04:33 +0000

A quick post – I’ll put a couple more up today. I wanted to show from the last entry that the little Hibiscus was once alive.

Hibiscus pre mortius

Not just yet.

Corwin — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 20:39:25 +0000

Hibiscus mortius

I’m looking out of my window at snow. We rarely get any snow around here, but today we have at least 8 inches or so now while it still falls. I was going to write about this little Hibiscus mortius but I don’t know what to say about it. It was pretty? It is a wonderful display of nothing. It sticks out of the ground pathetically, a sad reminder that plants don’t always work. I’m hopeful it’ll come back next year. I really have no idea if it’s an annual or perennial. I should google that. Today’s weather seems more fitting than the happy greenery around it in the first photo, teasing its untimely demise.

Coming back?